The Last Showdown

El siguiente es un texto que escribí hace cinco meses, espero no lo odien. No se olviden de comentar 😌💙✨

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You are not fair. Not one bit. I am crying my eyes out since you left. Don’t you dare telling me you love me. Cause you don’t. I don’t believe a word you say. When you love someone, you take care of them, you hug them and kiss them and you tell them everything will be alright. When you love someone you try everything to be ok with that person, and if you see him/her trying, you try with them, you don’t leave!! When you love someone, you make the most of EVERY SECOND. If that someone is apologizing, you stay, you accept the apology and work it out, if that someone is begging you to stay, to hug them, to be there for them, YOU FUCKING DO, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT LOVE IS ABOUT. About giving everything. About caring for each other. About working out every fight. About forgiving. About SHOWING YOU LOVE THEM. Not about leaving. Not about making the “loved one” cry. You don’t leave. You stay. You WORK IT OUT. Because if it really is love, you cherish every moment, if it really is love, you give everything, to be happy with that person, to see her/him smile. To feel him/her near to you, to feel her/his touch.

Tonight you broke my heart. Again. And I hate myself for letting you do this to me. And sometimes I wish I had closed that door, I wouldn’t be crying right now, I wouldn’t be hurting. I really think I don’t deserve to be treated this way. Yes, I was angry when you got here, yes, i told you about it. But I thought I was being mature by speaking out, by telling you what was bothering me. And I wasn’t? Am I a bitch for wanting to be with you ? For expecting you earlier because YOU said we were going to have dinner???? Am I a bitch for wanting a simple two second “let’s reschedule” text??!!!?!?!? Am I crazy for thinking that my time is equally important and that is rude to make someone wait?????????????????? AGAIN??!!!? Please, if someone thinks I’m being irrational, i beg, let me know, because as far as I know, making someone wait on you, just cause, is rude.

Anyway. I didn’t think you’d leave. I even hurt my arm trying to keep you here… ugh. Sorry for that. I’ll never ever do that to anyone, I just thought we could talk about it, or kiss and fix it… but you didn’t even touch me. Once again you proved me that I can’t make you want me, I can’t make you love me, I can’t make you want to stay, I can’t force anyone, for that matter. And I shouldn’t even try. But the saddest part here, is that you wanted to leave, that you don’t want me, you don’t want to hold me or be anywhere near me, and that any excuse will work for you. You don’t love me, and I can’t make you love me… I was so excited about today. I was happy about dinner with you… I was expecting it, with my heart full of joy and wishing lots of pictures and maybe a little bit of wine… I was wishing for laughs and kisses… and all I have now is swollen eyes, a broken heart, fucking cramps and my arm that hurts… I can’t stop crying. I can’t believe you left. You ever threaten me… Holy fuck….. I don’t know what to think about that…

You broke me. Yet again… Stupid me. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. But I tried. I tried to fix it. I tried to be ok and have a nice time, I offered an apology and I kissed you goodbye. I tried. Because I do love you, because I do care, about this, about you… I would never put you at the bottom of my list, and I would never leave if you asked me to stay… I’ve done everything I can to show you I’m here for you, that I care, that I love you to the moon and back… And all I get is… This. A non-relationship where I can’t even talk about the things I want nor the things that bother me… Because then I’m a bitch and I’m ungrateful… Right? And that’s not fair. I’ll stop crying, because this too shall pass, I’ll be ok, and you don’t deserve my tears. You left. I didn’t. I’m still here and I’m not afraid to say I love you… But I ain’t got no more tears for you. I’m done.

xx linette